Wondering how to tackle that pushy colleague at work? Experts tell Lisa Antao ways to do so.
Pushy individuals exist everywhere. In most cases, when such an individual is either a family member or a friend, despite having to deal with their nagging behaviour you know that somewhere they may have your good interests at heart. But you certainly can`t tell the same about a pushy colleague, who is trying to `boss` over you and give you a hard time at work. Does reading the above lines induce a deja vu of your office bully? If yes, then read on to find out how to deal with such a person.
The `Push` factor
Let`s begin by analysing such an individual. The term `pushy` itself suggests some extra force or energy applied. Hence, a pushy person is someone with high physical suggestibility and behaviour pattern. They assume that with loud, direct, proactive, persuasive behaviour they can overrule and over power the emotional suggestible, explains clinical hypnotherapist and corporate wellness consultant Dr Hetal Desai.
If you`re wondering what drives these individuals to behave in such an unpleasant manner, psychologist Neha Patel explains, "One reason is that they have a strong need for control. If things aren`t the way they like, they try their best to manipulate the situation by either nagging or intimidating, disregarding other people`s work, passing demeaning comments, blaming others for faults and eventually getting things to go their way."
This kind of behaviour could stem from their childhood experiences, where the only way they could be heard or get what they wanted by being in control. Also, without being the one in control, they tend to be insecure. Their controlling behaviour is just a way for them to feel that they are powerful and have an identity, elaborates Patel.
How to deal with them
We agree that interacting with such a person is a pain in the neck. However, you need to be tactful while dealing with them simply because you`re the one at the receiving end, not him/her. Also, these people know the ropes of playing dirty. Dr Desai advises that "pulling your own strings" being firm and polite is the key. Being very clear in your own thoughts — in all that you are doing and want to achieve will lead to clarity in communicating better. One has to release all fears and insecurities to stand for what they feel and believe.
Patel suggests the following tips:
Be assertive: Many times, pushy persons know whom they can intimidate and they pick on individuals who are vulnerable or have a difficulty saying no.
Be alert: Be aware of what`s happening around you and don`t get carried away. A pushy person will try to cajole and emotionally blackmail you into changing your mind. So, be firm.
BDST: 1545 HRS, Oct-24, 2013