Friday, 27 May, 2022


Say 'no' if want to be kind to yourself

18 |
Update: 2019-10-08 18:02:42
Say 'no' if want to be kind to yourself photo collected

DHAKA: Yeah, we know what it’s like when you're the “good person”. You’re the one who offers to listen to a friend’s relationship problems, type up a group assignment and book your great uncle’s train tickets online. You’re the one who ends up doing, well, everything.

Hand out sign-up sheets? You got it. Take photos during dance reharsals? Of course! Join the litter pickup on the beach? You betcha. While it might look good on your résumé that you were in the debating society, on the football team, a volunteer librarian, a cheerleader, a violinist in the orchestra, and a member of the student union and drama and chess clubs, eventually it all catches up with you. There are only 24 hours in the day, and no, you can’t do it all.

So when a professor approaches with yet another task, or a relative wants you to look after her puppy over the weekend, you might want to say “no”, reports

Like yourself
First, let’s admit that we don’t like saying “no” because we want people to like us, and if we do stuff for them, then they will like us, right?

But do you like yourself? If you were your own best friend, what would you say about taking on more than you can handle? Listen to that voice.

Have some quiet time and think about the scenarios where you are likely to be asked to take part in something you don’t want to join. And then write down around 10 different ways to say “no”. 

They could be something like this: “Oh, that sounds interesting. Let me check my schedule and get back to you.

“I’m really sorry, I already have plans for that day/night/time.”

“Oh, I’d love to help you, but unfortunately I can’t.”

Or, if it’s your friends or brother or sister, you could just give a flat-out “Nuh uh”.
Master your own voice

Warm up by saying “no” out loud in front of a mirror – not just in your head, because you always say “no” in your head and it never goes anywhere. Ham it up: make stern, even ugly, faces, try your “fierce face”, cross your arms, stamp your feet, lift your chin, and say it over and over and over.

If you can, practise it both softly and loudly, even in different accents and in funny voices. This will let you get comfortable with the idea that “no” is not a four-letter word.

Once you have mastered the sound of your own voice saying “no”, practise the lines you wrote down. You need to do this because, again, you need to hear yourself say these things. That way, when the big moment arrives, you won’t have to stop and think, or automatically say yes.

In about a week or so, go back and practise your lines again to help fix them in your head. Good luck!

BDST: 1757 HRS, OCT 8, 2019


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