Life plays all kinds of interesting tricks with us, humans, having us meet people we like and become attracted to and interested in, at the most unexpected times and at the most unexpected places. Thus, it’s not surprising that so many people end up developing great romantic interest in someone who lives far away – from one hour drive to several hours by plane far away. We customarily call this a long distance relationship. Anyone who finds himself in a long distance relationship situation, has to ask himself or herself sooner or later – is that relationship worth the effort, the emotional investment and the commitment that it requires? This kind of question is answered very easily in Hollywood movies that remind us over and over that love transcends time and distance, but in real life, it’s a much more complicated issue.
Like in most other love related matters, there is no unequivocal yes/no answer to this commonly arising predicament in long-distance relationship as each situation is very different and unique. But you can make a correct decision for yourself and for that other person who lives further away from you than you would like to by considering the following three factors:
1. What is your plan? What is your partner’s plan with regard to your long-distance relationship? Do you ever plan to get together and be closer with your partner on a more permanent basis, and will it realistically happen in the foreseeable future? If not – if you are doomed to limit your relationship to phone and e-mail, then you are likely wasting your and his/her time, and you are better off moving on, and finding someone to date who is more accessible and the practical obstacle of distance cannot be overcome.
2. Are you in this long-distance relationship for the right reasons? – Many people end up in a long distance relationship out of sheer loneliness and to a degree – out desperation for company. Not being able to meet someone in their geographical proximity, they end up settling for online or phone love with someone who lives thousands of miles away, harboring unsubstantiated hope that one day, maybe, they will get together and will live happily ever after. In reality, it hardly ever happens. So, if you are in a long distance relationship, make sure that this is because you truly believe that you have one of a kind connection with the other person and that you are ready to put a lot of effort into hopefully being together in the future.
3. Can you afford financially to turn your long-distance relationship into a typical dating situation? – As hard as it is to admit it, the bottom line about making the long distance relationship work is money. I have seen guys who limit their search for a date or a relationship to their town, or within 20 miles of their city because they are too busy, they work too hard, and they don’t want to or can’t afford commuting too far to see their partner. I also know a few guys who have no geographical limitations when it comes to meeting women and who have no problem flying to see a woman once or more per month and/or having her fly over and showing her a great time. These guys also know that if they meet a woman of their dreams and thinks will get serious, they will have no problem having a woman move or moving over to where their partner lives and starting their life together.
BDST: 1222 HRS, JULY 24, 2012
Edited by: Sharmina Islam, Lifestyle Editor
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