When uttered within a romantic relationship, the words “I need space” are usually not followed by anything good. But what if more space is just what we need for happier, healthier relationships?
So how do you give yourself more space and privacy without distancing yourself from the relationship? Try this:
• Don’t actually say “I need space.” Regardless of what you mean, that statement by itself is a loaded one—it implies general distance from the relationship, not alone time.
• Instead, frame it as something you both might need/want. Sit down with your partner and a calendar, and explain that you want to figure out how both of you can take a load off and when.
• Get specific. Taking action when you make a general statement like “I want more time for myself” is hard. Instead, have a plan, like turning the spare bedroom into a man-cave, going to a weekly yoga class, scheduling a girls’ night with friends once a month, or penciling in a half-hour walk on a weekend afternoon.
• Don’t forget to have couple time too. Reboot during your alone time in the afternoon, and reconnect over dinner to keep your connection strong. Spend a weekend by yourself; schedule a date night for when you get back.
BDST: 1120 HRS, JUN 21, 2012
Edited by: Tilka Binte Mehtab, Newsroom Editor
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